XS Sounding Board
by Darqstar
Summary: Sometimes the most secretive of XMen needs someone to talk to. Note: Sikuhdani is my darqstar's character. Please ask before using her in a story, thanks.


Sounding Board Dreams Of Blue, the official X-S site. _Mainstream X-S _

Sounding Board

[Darqstar][1]

  


Boots in his hands, Remy LeBeau crept down the hall towards his room. It was five a.m. and he'd just gotten home. _Tank god I don' have any plans for today,_ he thought as he crept past Bobby's room. _Take a shower, grab sometin' t'eat an catch a few hours of sleep._  


Looking down the hall, he could see a splash of early morning sunlight crossing the carpeting from Hank's room, indicating the door was open. _Is Beast up?_ he thought. It wasn't that hard to imagine. Hank was notorious for loosing all track time when he worked on something and the Legacy Virus was certainly enough to keep him working steadily. _Question is; did he wake up early? Or work all night?_  


As he started past the room, he was interrupted by a small giggle and a cry of, "Oh! Oh!" He stopped and peered in the room  


The newest and smallest member of the mansion stood in her crib, using the bars to hold onto, since her legs weren't quite ready to support all her weight. Her blue hair curled around her face, which, like the rest of her body, was covered with a sparse coating of blue hair. This blue hair wasn't quite fur, like her father's, but it was a bit more than excess body hair. She grinned at Remy, obviously glad to see him.   


He grinned back and moved two steps closer so he was standing in the doorway. As he looked in the room, he saw Hank, sprawled out on his bed, sound asleep but fully dressed. Gambit could easily figure out what happened. Hank stayed up late to work until he was so exhausted he just passed out. The child in the crib, however, probably went to bed at a more normal hour and in the world of the very young, considered five a.m. a perfect time to wake up.   


Remy looked back over at the child. She bounced up and down in her crib, serenading him with a chorus of babbles and other baby noises. Remy knew if he left her, her noises would get louder and more distressed until she woke Hank up.  


Although the thought of a shower and few hours of sleep sounded real good, he figured he could postpone his plans for awhile to help out a teammate and his niece. "Hey dere Siku," he whispered. "You're Uncle Remy's gonna make sure you're okay dis morning."  


Sikudhani looked up at him, her noises getting louder and more excited. She raised her arms to him, letting go of the crib, which caused her to fall back on her butt. Her eyes widened in surprise. "Oh!"  


Remy fought off a laugh. "Obviously haven't learned about de law of gravity yet." He reached in and picked her up. "Well, I know one problem we have to take care of," he murmured as his hand slid around her rear end. "Get you changed."  


He took the direct approach and decided to get it over with as quickly as possible. He took her over to the changing table and with remarkable speed, removed her sleeper and old diaper, cleaned her, and got a fresh diaper onto her. When that was done, he looked through the drawers of the changing table to find something else to put her in. He found a T-shirt and held it up. It was one of those novelty T-shirts, light blue with tiny navy blue lettering that read; _"If you think I'm cute, you ought to see my Daddy."_ He chuckled, remembering the day Jean and Rogue came home from the mall with that shirt and gave it to Siku. Hank was almost blushing under that blue fur. Although Hank easily proclaimed his daughter was the most beautiful baby he'd ever seen, his faith in his own appearance was a bit lacking. He kept the T-shirt, but he hadn't put it on Siku yet.  


"First time for ever'tin little one," he whispered. She giggled as he slipped the shirt onto her, feeding her small arms and into the sleeves. "Now, 'ow about pants? Got anytin' sexy in here? Black leather? Touch of lace perhaps? Or would you prefer spandex, like your beautiful Aunts wear?" He looked though the drawers, finding a pair of red pants and pulled them out. "Ah, the old stand-by, cotton. An' these are de ones wit' de snaps in de legs an' crotch. What ev'ry fashionable baby is wearin' dis season."   


She looked at him steadily as he put the pants on her. Once they were snapped in place, she broke into a wide grin. "Ah, you approve I see. Now, let's see if we can get you some breakfast."  


he picked her up, holding her against his chest and carried her out of the room, to the kitchen. Sikudhani immediately grabbed onto a lock of his hair and stuffed it into his mouth. "Hey, hold on, we'll get you somet'in better dan my hair t'eat!" He pulled the lock out of her mouth. "Oh wonderful, jus, what I need, baby spit."   


"Bhu!" she exclaimed, making a face.  


"Ah don' approve of my shampoo little one?" Remy asked, opening the refrigerator and looking inside. Three bottles were on the shelf, already prepared. "Or' mebe it's Tiffany's perfume you tastin?"  


"Oh?" Siku offered.   


"Who's Tiffany you ask?" Gambit pulled one of the bottles out of the refrigerator and popped it into the microwave. "She de girl you're Uncle Remy met last night. She de reason your Uncle Remy's still up at this early hour."   


"Bhu!"  


"Bhu, is right Siku," Remy agreed, setting the timer on the microwave and pressing the "start" button. "Bhu definitely describe Tiffany. Oh, she pretty enough. Nice enough, but no sustenance. Eye candy 'bout sums her up."   


"Oh?"   


Remy grinned. "You got a limited vocabulary Siku, but I think I understan' what you saying." The timer went off on the microwave and he opened the door and pulled out the bottle. "You asking me why I spent so much time wit' her if I really didn' like her. Well, Siku, dat's a long story." He shifted the girl so he could test the bottle on his wrist. The formula was warm, but not hot. "Perfect!" He knew Hank had broadened her diet to include some baby food and cereal, but Remy wasn't sure exactly what to feed her and how much. Hank had her entire diet figure out right down to the last calorie Sikudhani should consume. The bottle was a safe bet and would hopefully hold her over until her father woke up. He sat down in one of the kitchen chairs holding her and brought the bottle up to her mouth. "Here you go, Siku. Breakfast."  


Sikudhani didn't need any other encouragement. She grabbed onto the bottle with both tiny hands and shoved the nipple into her mouth. A look of total bliss crossed her face as she started drinking.  


"Like dat huh?" Gambit asked, continuing to hold the bottle for her. "Yeah, bet you jus' wish you could have a little coffee wit' all that milk huh?" He shifted himself and the girl into a more comfortable position. He wouldn't mind having a little coffee himself, but he wasn't sure how to keep hold of Siku, the bottle, and manipulate the coffee maker. It seemed easier to wait until she finished eating.  


"Anyway, t'get back t'your first question, why did I spend so much time wit' Tiffany? Well, dat's because dere was a time in my life when I really liked women like Tiffany." Remy explained. "See Siku, you probably 'aven't noticed, bein' so young an' all, but your Uncle Remy is.. well, he's a good lookin' sort. I've never 'ad any trouble attracting women. Especially women like Tiffany."  


He paused, realizing how foolish he must look, sitting here, talking to a baby. _What if someone heard me? _he thought, feeling slightly embarrassed.   


Siku squirmed in his arms, pushing the bottle away and looking up at him. Her brilliant blue eyes looked bewildered as if something wasn't quite right. "What' wrong Siku?" he murmured, pushing the nipple back to her mouth. "C'mon, dis bottle ain't even a quarter gone, you can't be full."  


She took hold of the bottle again, drawing the nipple into her mouth and drinking again. "Ah, I t'ink I know what dis is about!" Remy exclaimed. "You don' wanna eat less I'm talkin' t'you, dat right?" It wasn't all that surprising when he thought about it. In the time she'd been here, most of Siku's waking hours were spent with adults that talked to her, not caring if she could understand them or not. The child's beginnings before Hank adopted her were rough at best, and the voices of the people she loved soothed her and assured her things were all right with the world.   


"All right den, I keep talkin'" Remy promised her. "Hmm.. what should we talk about? Politics? Nah, I try never t'discuss politics wit' anyone who isn't toilet trained."  


Siku paused, nipple still in her mouth, but not drinking. She stared at him, steadily as if trying to tell him something. Gambit grinned. "What's dat look for? You upset I not discuss politics wit' you? Plenty of time for dat when you're older."  


"Bhu!" she exclaimed, a dribble of formula spilling from the corners of her mouth.   


Taking a napkin from the holder in the middle of the table, Remy neatly wiped her mouth. "You tryin' t'tell me some'tin Siku? You were doin' fine when I was talkin' bout last night. I try to change de subject an' you stop eatin'. I'm tellin' you kid, you too grown up for your age."  


He frowned for a moment, thinking of the night he'd just spent. "It wasn't right Siku. It used t'be right, or at least good enough so I didn' care, but somethin's happened. Somethin's changed. Or mebe _I've _changed."  


Siku studied him with inquisitive eyes, but continued to drink her bottle. Remy couldn't understand why she only wanted to eat while he spoke his inner thoughts, but if it worked, what the heck. It wasn't like she could go blabbing to anyone.   


"When I was younger, I thought Belle was gonna be de only woman I ever loved Siku. She was so beautiful, so special. When dat went sour is when I started seein women like Tiffany. Dey made a nice distraction, an' it was easy t'leave dem. I wen' quite a few years goin' from one Tiffany type t'another. Yeah, I know... if I was a women, people would call me a slut." He shrugged. "Because I'm a guy, dey call me a stud. Don' seem fair. Bein' a stud is cool, bein' a slut isn't."  


Siku's eyes clouded for a moment and she paused from her breakfast, giving him a pained expression.  


"Hey, I'm sorry, I don' think it's fair either, das jus' de way it is!" he explained.   


She drew in a deep breath and continued with the bottle, never taking her gaze from his face.  


"I really was sure I'd never fall in love again," Remy continued. "I thought I'd found the one woman I'd ever love wit' Belle. I din' t'ink I could get lucky enough t'find another. Den I came here, an' I met your Aunt Rogue. An' let me tell you Siku, she was somet'in worth meetin."   


"Didn' take me long t'learn dat her ability made it impossible t'consider any sort of... intimate relationship wit' her. Touchin' someone and absorbing dere memories.. dere very soul..." He paused, a shiver going through him. "Can you imagine what it must be like for her? I can't."  


"Yeah, I know, dat should 'ave turned me off, but it didn't," Gambit continued. "Instead it... made me more determined. I t'ink part of it was dat she was so completely unobtainable. No man can touch her, no man can be... uh... intimate wit' her. She's innocent. She's pure. Completely out o' my league. It was like... seein' sometin' in a dream Siku. I knew I could never 'ave her. An' bein' me, bein' de t'ief, dat only made me want her more."  


Siku pushed the bottle away again, looking at him. Pressing her tiny lips together, she blew a raspberry. Remy chuckled. "Yeah, dat pretty silly of me, wasn' it? Goin' after what I _knew _I couldn't 'ave." He looked at the bottle, it was almost empty. He brought it back to her mouth again to see if she wanted the rest. She squirmed for a moment, then latched onto the bottle again, and resumed feeding.   


"Oh, I admit, at first it was a game. I don' t'ink I meant to hurt her, but I got carried away. 'Look at me, Remy LeBeau, goin' for de girl who I can' 'ave.' The girl everyone wants, but no one is crazy enough t'go after. Except me, of course. So I went after her. I pursued her like she was de most precious thing on de planet. An' like I said Siku, at first it was not'in but a game."  


He paused, a pained expression crossing his features before continuing. "Problem bein' dat sometimes games 'ave a way of gettin' carried away. You play de role, an' after awhile you don' know if it _is_ a role anymore. Somewhere along de line, it stopped bein' a game. I fell in love wit' her. Hard. Yeah, laugh if you want, but it's true. De stud falls head over heals. I knew it was pointless, I could never show her how much I loved her, at least not in the traditional ways, but oh I wanted to. I wanted to kiss her so bad. I knew the risks. Hell, I couldn't get close t'her wit'out her warnin' me of de risks. But dey didn' matter. Even if dat one kiss lead to death, I knew it would be worth it."  


"Ohhhh?" Siku interrupted, pushing the bottle away again. This time it was empty. Gambit put it on the table and shifted her so she was sitting up on his knees. Slipping his arm around her, he began rubbing his back. Most of her aunts and uncles preferred the over-the-shoulder burping method, but Remy found sitting her up had one advantage; she still burped, but she was less likely to throw up.   


"So, here I was... in love wit' her an' unable t'do much about it. But dat din' stop me. I tried an' tried. She cared about me too. I knew it. We both knew it, we jus' din' know what we could do about it."  


"A bunch of stuff happen, but I don' t'ink I 'ave t'go into dat..."   


Sikudhani stiffened for a moment, then opened her mouth and let out a loud burp. Gambit chuckled. "Good one Si! De Cajun judge give you an 8.7." She looked up at him and giggled. "But, I don' t'ink dat's de only burp you got inside you," he continued to rub her back. "Go for de 10. Oh, don' worry, I'll continue."  


He leaned back in the chair, still rubbing her back. "Well anyway, Rogue end up kissin' me." He chuckled. "Damn nearly kill me too. What a woman!" He shook his head remembering, then looked down at Sikudhani. "Don' you go gettin' any ideas, little one. Kisses ain't suppose t'put someone in a coma."  


Sikudhani burped again, quieter this time. "Sorry, dat only get you a 2.5. Keep tryin."   


"Well, as you might 'ave guessed, Rogue absorbed my memories. An' some of dem scared her, bad. Not surprised, dey scare me too an' I made 'em. Well Siku.. I guess you could say dat broke us up. But I never really believe it. I jus t'ought she need some time t'find herself an' she'd come back t'me. After all, aren't I the irresistible one? De guy every woman want?"  


"So, she go away for awhile... an' come back wit' Joseph. First I t'ink dis is bad. An' dat's okay, because Joseph used t'be one of our enemies. Sure, he don' remember when he was Magneto, but plenty people 'round here worry dat when he _does _remember..."  


He paused, collecting his thoughts again. Sikudhani sat, looking up at him occasionally, but not making any noise. _It's like she understands every word an' is waitin' for me t'continue,_ he thought. _Okay, let's make her happy. Not like it really matters. Probably jus' like de sound of my voice._  


"So, Rogue is here wit' Joseph. First I'm t'inkin it ain't gonna last. She an' he ain't gonna work out an' she'll be back t'me. Problem is, dat don' seem t'be happening. So, I watch dem. I watch de way dey are together. I see dat Joseph really want t'help her learn t'control her powers. First I take dat' 'caring' approach. 'You can' do dis Joseph. If you fail you'll disappoint her an' she's had enough disappointment.' Yeah, it sounds real good doesn't it? But between you an' me Siku? It's a lie. If I was bein' honest, I would have said, 'You can' do dat Joseph, because you might succeed where I failed, den she'll never come back to me.'"  


"Bhu!"   


"Dat's right Siku, Bhu. It would 'ave been a terrible thing to say, but it would 'ave been de truth. So, it gets me to t'inking... I say I love her. Isn't love wantin' what's best for someone, even if it's not exactly what _you_ want?"  


"Baaa?" Sikudhani looked up at him, brows furrowed.   


Gambit nodded. "Dat's what love is suppose t'be Siku. Unselfish. Hard thing for me t'grasp, because I'm probably one of de most selfish people around. So, I'm looking at dis whole situation, an' I realize while I do love her, Joseph is better for her. So, if I really love her, I should be happy for her. I should be glad she's found someone good for her. An' I'm tryin' t' be dat way Siku, I really am. Dere is a part of me dat is happy, jus' to see her happy. But deep down, dere is another part of me dat- dat wants her back so bad. So what do I do Siku? I wanna be de good person, de person who can jus' be happy dat she's happy. But what do I do about de other side of me. De side dat jus' can't let go?"  


His voice trailed off as he rubbed Sikudhani's back gently. She stared up at him, her gaze fixed on his face. When he didn't respond, she lifted one hand and put it on his chest.   


He looked down at her and smiled. "You' a pretty good kid, Siku. I'm glad Hank kept you."  


She grinned and let out a resounding burp. He laughed. "Okay Siku, dat one gets you the perfect 10. Dat was a _burp."_   


"Ah should say so," Rogue said, coming into the room. "Mornin' Siku," she leaned over and patted the child's head with a gloved hand. Siku looked up at her and giggled happily. "Mornin' Remy."  


Gambit looked up at her, eyes widening. _Oh, I **pray **she wasn't listenin' outside._ "Morning Rogue. You're up early."  


"An you never went t'bed," Rogue observed, looking at him.   


Gambit shrugged, lifting Siku and holding her up to his chest. "Jus' out havin' some fun."  


"Yeah?" Rogue tipped her head to one side. "Seems to me you've been doin' a lot of that lately. Isn't this the fourth night this week you were out all night?"  


"Oui," he agreed. "Got a little carried away, I guess. But, enough is enough. I t'ink I'll slow down for awhile... spend a little more time at home."  


Rogue nodded. "Ah think that's a good idea." She walked over to the counter and started going through the motions of making coffee. "In the meantime, maybe you'd better get some sleep. Didn't you promise Scott you'd work out with him later this afternoon?"  


"You right." He sighed. "I was gonna go t'sleep 'bout an hour ago, but I passed Hank's room an' saw him asleep and Siku awake an' figured I'd better get her set." He rubbed Siku's back, watching Rogue. From the casual way she was talking, he was pretty sure she hadn't overheard his earlier monologue.  


"Well, you can get some sleep now if you want." Rogue offered. "Unless you want breakfast first."  


He shook his head. "Nah. I'm not as hungry. More sleepy now. Are you sure it's all right t'leave Siku wit' you?" Although Rogue wore long sleeves and gloves when she was around Siku, holding the child made her nervous. Sikudhani was at the stage where she constantly tried to touch people's faces and hair.  


Rogue nodded. "Yeah, you can put her in her swing chair. Joseph will be down soon an' he can help."   


Gambit nodded, taking Hank's daughter over to the brightly colored swing chair and putting her into it. She looked dismayed at being put down for a moment, but when he turned the crank and started the chair moving, her frown turned into a giggle. "Dere you go Siku!"   


He straightened up, turning and looking at Rogue. Her back was to him, as she busied herself by the coffee maker. "T'anks for helpin' out," he said. "I-I guess I'll see you later."   


"See ya later," Rogue said. As he started out of the kitchen she turned from the counter. "Remy?"  


He paused. "Yes?"  


She took a deep breath. "Later... when you're awake.. an' after you're done with Scott, I was thinkin..." She stopped.  


"Thinkin' what?" Gambit prompted her.  


"Thinking that maybe... you an' Ah.. we oughta... talk." She looked at him steadily. "Get some things out in the open. D-does that sound okay to you?"  


He looked at her, black on red eyes studying her carefully. "Dat sounds.. fine."  


She smiled, a look of relief in her eyes. "Ah-Ah'm glad. Sleep well Remy."  


Before he could answer, she turned back to the counter and turned on the coffee maker. Remy watched her for a moment, a slow smile creeping across his face. Then he turned and walked out of the kitchen.  
  


  


  


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[Main index][4]
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[Mainstream][2]
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[Alternative][7]

[Chronology ][3]
[Non X-S fiction ][8]
[Authors ][9]
[Artists ][10]
[Submissions][11]

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FAQ 

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[News And Views ][13]
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[links][15]
[Opening Page][16]

  


  
**THE STANDARD DISCLAIMER** ****The X-Men are owned by Marvel comics/Marvel Entertainment group. Sikudhani McCoy, however, is my (darqstar) creation. This page is intended as a tribute to Marvel and not intended for profit in any way. Marvel Comics and/or Marvel entertainment group has nothing to do with this site and are in no way, shape, or form, responsible for any of the contents. So, if you have a problem with this site, don't go to them, come to me. 

   [1]: /~darqstar/authors/darqstar/index.htm
   [2]: /~darqstar/mainstream.htm
   [3]: /~darqstar/chronology.htm
   [4]: /~darqstar/main.htm
   [5]: /~darqstar/newstuff.htm
   [6]: /~darqstar/beyond.htm
   [7]: /~darqstar/alternative.htm
   [8]: /~darqstar/nonxs.htm
   [9]: /~darqstar/authors/index.htm
   [10]: /~darqstar/artists/index.htm
   [11]: /~darqstar/submissions/index.htm
   [12]: /~darqstar/faq.htm
   [13]: /~darqstar/newsviews/index.htm
   [14]: /~darqstar/interact/index.htm
   [15]: /~darqstar/links/index.htm
   [16]: /~darqstar/open.htm



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